完整校对版(汉军威武请戒色论坛网友翻译,特表感谢):
站长,您好!请帮忙用中文翻译我的邪淫故事,那样可以让读者受益并且不再重复我的错误。
我今年28岁,三年前从新加坡的一所顶尖大学毕业。这三年中,我事业无发展并且换了很多次工作。我认为这是由我的邪淫恶业所带来的报应。
我在2004年遇到了一个已婚女人并且和她发生了性关系。她向我撒谎说她是单身的。但后来我发现实际上她已经结婚了,但她搬出了她的住所并住在一个单元房中,因为她的丈夫不能满足她的性要求。
我仍然和她保持着性关系一直到2006年为止。她的丈夫请了一个私家侦探来调查我们,最终他们离婚了。我觉得是我的错误造成他们离婚的。
随后,我换了我的手机号码并且告诉自己不要再和她联系。但是在2007年,我见了她一次并和她发生了性关系。我知道我不应该那样做。
此外,在2007年,我从网上认识了一个女孩并和她发生了一夜情。我去检查了HIV并测出是阴性,我很庆幸。
在过去的15年里我一直看色情的东西并且手淫。我告诉自己停止或者减少手淫的频率。因为我每天晚上要手淫3至4小时。
直到今天,我不手淫的最多天数是5天,在此之后欲望就又会来。
我比大多数男人性欲要高,并且早在我19岁的时候我就习惯去红灯区找妓女。甚至和妓女发生性关系后,我回家还会手淫。
最近,我从网上认识了一个人,他带我去红灯区。他支付70美元让我和一个中国妓女去旅馆做爱。我告诉自己我不应该与她发生关系。因为当我已经有测出HIV为阴性的经历,我不想再受精神上的折磨再去测试一次HIV。
我给那个妓女钱并且告诉她不用做爱,只要给我按摩就行了。
总之,报应很快来了。几天后,我在我的阴茎上发现了一个蘑菇形状的东西(尽管那个女孩没有碰我的私密处,但我相信这是报应)。
这几年我善恶业掺杂不断。善业方面,我自愿的去参加葬礼诵经会,放生,助印,禅坐。
恶业方面是我一直在发生不正当的性行为,并且这是最邪恶的。我一直在饱尝恶业果报,尽管我做了一些善事,可是这好比一个充满漏洞的杯子(恶业)我却想要把这杯子装满水(善业)。自然杯子总仍是空的。
这几年,我没有一份工作是做满7个月的。我总是遇上不友好的同事和难相处的人。在这三年里我已经换了10份工作,都总是输在我的简历上。所以我请了个家庭老师教了我2年。
今年,我曾得到一些很好的面试机会,但最后我都没有去参加。因为我手淫总是直到凌晨4,5点而那以后我往往非常累,起不了床。有时候,我会把闹钟关了并且不去参加面试。现在已到了非常严重的地步了。我恨我自己!
我已经失业有4个月了。并且我的积蓄也没多少了。我仍然睡的很迟,凌晨4点睡下,在下午2点醒来后又再小睡一会儿到傍晚的6点。我只应聘晚间的工作。当有的公司打电话让我去面试的时候,我的手机总处于关机状态。所以我错过了很多好机会。甚至当我面试时,面试的人要求我等他们的电话通知。我非常累并且懒得去听那些。
曾有一个临时任务需要我在星期二开始工作,但是第二天我没有起来工作因为我把闹钟关了。并且我没有告知公司,因为我不知道该怎么说。我真的希望我可以跟正常人一样早睡早起去工作。
因一次偶然机会,我来到了你们的网站。看到这里的很多网友都在遭受邪淫行为带来的果报折磨,我真的很难过。希望所有人可以不再受其折磨!
衷心希望各位读者不要重复我的错误并能从我的错误中吸取教训。
请大家记住这是真实的:邪淫会导致一个人有许多敌人(在工作中,遇到许多不友好的同事和敌人);邪淫也会减少一个人的运气(没事业);邪淫也会遇不到虔诚信佛学佛的好女孩(这三年中我找不到好的女友,我所接触的女孩都只是为了性。)
附录:来信原文
Hi webmaster, pls help to translate my story of sexual misconduct in chinese, so that other readers can all benefit and learn not to repeat my mistake.
I am 28 this year, having graduated from a top university insingapore3 years ago. These 3 years, i have not been able to progress in my career and have been switching many jobs. I believe this is the karmic result of sexual misconduct.
I met a married woman in year 2004 and have sexual relations with her. She had lied to me that she was single but later i found out actually she was married, but she moved out to stay by herself in an unit, as her husband cannot satisfy her sexually.
I still continued my sexual relationship with her till year 2006. Her husband had sent a private investigator to check on us, and eventually they filed for divorce. I felt it was my fault for their divorce.
Subsequently, i changed my handphone number and told myself not to contact her again. But in year 2007, i met her once to have sex. I knew i should not do that.
Also, in year 2007, i met a gal from the internet and had a one night stand with her. I tested negative for HIV laterwards and was glad of that.
I have been watching porn and masturbating for the past 15 years. I told myself to stop or reduce the frequency. I used to masturbate every night for 3 to 4 hours.
Till today, the maximum days i do not masturbate is 5 days, after which the urge will come.
I have a higher sex drive than most men, and i used to go to the red light districts to pay prostitutes for sex when i was just 19 years old. Even after having sex with prostitutes, i will still go home and shou yin.
Recently, i met this guy from the internet and he brought me to the red light district. He paid $70 for me to have paid sex with a china prostitute and i went up the hotel room. I told myself i should not have sex with her as i am tested HIV negative and do not want to go through the mental suffering of getting tested for HIV again.
But i gave the money to the prostitute and told her no need do sex. Do massage for me.
Anyway, retribution come quickly. A few days later, i found out a mushroom like skin attached to my penis( although the girl didnt touch my privates, but i believe this is retribution).
I have been doing good and evil these few years. I have went for voluntary funeral chanting sessions, release animal life in life liberation sessions, print dhamma books, meditation.
The evil i done is sexual misconduct, and that is the most evil of all. I have been tasting the fruits of it. Though i done some good deeds, its like a cup full of holes(evil deeds) and i am trying to fill the cup with water(good deeds). The cup is still empty.
This few years, i could not stay more than 7 months in a job, always meeting with unfriendly colleagues and difficult people. I have already changed over 10 jobs these 3 years and ended up lying in my resume that i gave private tutoring for 2 years.
This year, i have good interviews for me, but i ended up not going for them as i was very tired after shou yin till 4 to 5 am in the morning. Or sometimes, i will turn off the alarm clock and not go interview. It is very serious now. I hated myself for that.
I have been without a job for 4 months now and my savings are going low. I still sleep late abt 4am in the morning, wake up 2pm and then have a nap again till 6pm. I only apply job at night and when the companies call me for interview, my phone is off. As such, i miss many good opportunities. And even when i attend interview, the interviewers will ask me to wait for their phone call. I am so tired and sick of hearing that.
There was this temp assignment i had started work on tuesday, but the next day i didnt turn up for work as i turned off the alarm clock. I did not inform the company too, as i did not know what to say.
I really hope i can sleep early and wake up early so that i can go work, like other people.
I had come across your website by chance and am glad to see many people here suffering from the karma of sexual misconduct and hope that all can be free of this.
I read that reciting namo guan shi yin pu sha can reduce our sexual desire and i will work on that.
May readers not repeat my mistake and learn from it.
It is indeed true that sexual misconduct will lead one to having many enemies( in work, many unfriendly colleagues and enemies), also reduce ones fortune( no career), also cant meet the right girl who is a practising buddhist(these 3 years cant find the right girlfriend, the girls i meet are all for sex only)